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Infinite choice and distractions aren’t really what make us happy. You want to be the one he meets he’s traveled this road.Most women imagine this whole settling down thing works really differently than it does."I'm not just looking for a hookup," he'll say in between sips of wine. A man who truly wants to get married will work with you, while a commitment-phobic man will give up at the first sign of conflict. Because when you spend the majority of your adult life single, you like doing things your way, and these guys have major trouble with change.He has an answer ready about why he was never married; he hasn't met the right person, or he focused on his career. He won't work things out, he won't compromise, and he won't bend. Suddenly, after months or years of devoting yourself to this person and thinking you're building a future, you're single again wondering WTF just happened.Lots of women start out dating people who are looking for things like casual dating, hookups, or “let’s see what happens” romance.These women think, “Once they get to know me, if they love me, they will want to stay with me.” The problem is, being ready to settle down is developmental. It’s internally-driven, and has nothing to do with you.But once a guy hits his late 30s, there's no more clear "tell." Most men at this age trade frequent nights at the bar for dinners with friends and more low-key, mature plans. They start dressing better and maybe even losing their hair or going gray.They look different, they act different, and would dare say they're afraid of commitment at this age. But they have failed to address whatever it is that has held them back from making a real commitment.
You can look another person in the eye and tell him you love him, and you can squeeze that person tightly and make him feel it. And while it's wrong of them to waste your time, just know that this experience only validates that you, my friend, are able to love. It seems you’re doomed to live a life without a love to share it.There’s a reason it’s been so tough, and the reason isn’t you. Some women have found a way to create committed partnerships that last. Just like them, you can choose a partner who’s ready for commitment. If this sounds familiar, chances are you’ve been dating people who weren’t ready.It can easily take more than a decade to build a solid career. Many guys don’t see examples of what good, satisfying love looks like.Though they’re out there, few male role models talk about the potential for committed partnership to create deep fulfillment and growth.
If you want to settle down, you’re looking for a taxi with the light on.